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[Contents][1][2][3][4,5,6][7,8,9,10,11][12,13,14,15,16]
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Fooling the Bladder Cops

Frequently Wanted Information on How to Beat Drug Tests
by Justin Gombos


INTRODUCTION

During a job interview, have you ever been asked to piss for your new employer? New applicants for many of the Fortune 500 corporations are now being forced to take a drug test. In fact, 15 million will be tested this year. Drug byproducts can be detected in urine, blood, hair, external residue, and even perspiration! Drugs aren't the only things they test for; employers are using urinalysis to test women for pregnancy. Pregnant women are getting laid off or denied employment after taking such a test. Parents are spying on their children. The DOD Directive requires the military to screen all active duty members annually. If you don't want to be a victim of the drug war, this text will help you. If you are well known, this text may protect your reputation. I strongly recommended that drug users (pot smokers in particular) read this. Other drugs are covered as well, but marijuana is the main focus of this paper.

CONTENTS


1. DETECTION TIMES

1.1 Half-life of TetraHydroCannabinol
1.2 Detection times of several drugs
1.3 Positive (definition)
1.3.1 Second hand smoke and positives
1.4 Decreasing detection times

2. TEST METHODS


2.1 Substances that are detectable
2.2 DrugAlert
2.3 Gas Chromatography
2.4 Gas Chromatography / Mass Spectrometry
2.5 Hair testing
2.6 High Performance Liquid Chromatography
2.7 Immunoassay
2.7.1 Radio ImmunoAssay (a.k.a. Abuscreen)
2.7.2 Enzyme Multiplied Immunoassay Technique
2.7.3 Fluorescence Polarization ImmunoAssay
2.8 PharmChek
2.9 TestCup
2.10 Thin Layer Chromatography


3. TEST STANDARDS AND ACCURACY

3.1 Procedures used
3.2 False positives
3.2.1 Ibuprofen
3.2.2 Cold remedies, pain relievers, hay fever remedies, & diet pills
3.2.3 Antibiotics
3.2.4 Melanin (black skin)
3.2.5 DHEA
3.2.6 Dental treatment
3.3 True positives (legitimate)
3.3.1 Poppy seeds
3.3.2 Testosterone supplements


4. A NOTE ON COMMERCIAL PRODUCTS

5. THINGS TESTED TO DETECT COUNTER MEASURES

5.1 Color
5.2 Temperature
5.3 Creatinine
5.4 pH
5.5 Specific gravity
5.6 Age
5.7 Gender


6. PRODUCING CLEAN URINE

6.1 Dilution
6.1.1 Water
6.1.2 Creatinine level
6.1.3 Vitamin B
6.2 Diuretics
6.2.1 Ultimate Blend © (was Test Free) 6.2.2 Detoxify Carbo Clean ©
6.2.3 Naturally Klean Herbal Tea ©
6.2.4 Goldenseal
6.2.5 Certa or Certo
6.2.6 Vales Original Formula
6.2.7 Lasix
6.3 Vinegar
6.4 Dexatrim
6.5 Fiber
6.6 Vitamin lecithin
6.7 How to give a clean sample
6.8 Exercise
6.9 Beta-2 agonists
6.10 Beta-3 agonists
6.11 Low dosaging


7. DRUG SCREENS

7.1 Drug screens that work
7.1.1 Aspirin
7.2 Drug screens that do not work
7.2.1 Goldenseal
7.2.2 Niacin
7.2.3 Zinc sulfate
7.3 Untested drug screens
7.3.1 Puri-Blend (c)
7.3.2 The Stuff (c)


8. DOPING SAMPLES

8.1 Effective additives
8.1.1 Bleach
8.1.2 Klear (c)
8.1.3 Water
8.2 Ineffective additives
8.2.1 Ammonia
8.2.2 Blood
8.2.3 Draino
8.2.4 Goldenseal
8.2.5 Hydrogen peroxide
8.2.6 Lemon juice
8.2.7 Liquid soap
8.2.8 Mary Jane's SuperClean 13 (c)
8.2.9 Purifyit (c)
8.2.10 Sodium nitrate
8.2.11 Table salt
8.2.12 UrinAid (c)
8.2.13 Vinegar
8.2.14 Visine
8.2.15 WD40
8.3 Untested additives
8.3.1 Papain


9. SUBSTITUTION

9.1 Substitution methods
9.1.1 Concealed container
9.1.2 Injection
9.1.3 Catheterization
9.2 Where to get clean urine
9.2.1 Urine from a donor
9.2.2 Powdered Urine
9.2.2.1 Making your own powdered urine
9.2.3 Dog urine


10. STEALING URINE

11. IF YOU FAIL THE TEST

12. WHO DRUGTESTS?

12.1 Which companies test, and which don't?


13. POLITICS AND ETHICS OF DRUG TESTING

14. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

14.1 Contacting the author


15. FOOTNOTES

16. SOURCES

16.1 Contributors
16.2 Works cited
16.3 For more information
16.3.1 Drug testing consultants on the net
16.3.2 Drug testing mailing list
16.3.3 Sites
16.3.4 Newsgroups


17. DISTRIBUTION RULES

[Contents][1][2][3][4,5,6][7,8,9,10,11][12,13,14,15,16]
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Warning Regarding Urine Tests and Masking Agents!!

People interested in passing a drug test should know that new government drug testing guidelines now include that all laboratories perform a specimen integrity check before testing for drugs. What this means is that they are no longer only looking for marijuana and other illicit drugs but also for additives, dilution, and most of the available adulterants/masking products, i.e. Mary Jane Super Clean 13 (liquid soap), Urinaid (glutaraldehyde), THC Free (acid), Klear (nitrite), Urine Luck (pyridinium chlorochromate), TestKlear, Golden Seal, Terminator Gold, Stealth, Clean-X, and Instant Clean. These products are all detectable, and will result in a failed drug screen. They will also be reported as a failure! The point is clear. Don't be fooled by the plethora of ineffective detox adulterants, masking chemicals and flushes. These products simply hoax you out of your money and do not produce the results to which they lay claim. As for their fancy guarantees? Well, to receive your money back you must submit your test results. These results in most cases are not yours nor will you ever see them, meaning no refund will be awarded to you! The truth is, if you're searching for ways to pass a drug test then a clean urine substitution kit is just what you've been looking for.

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